


Can I help you, officer?

by blackholenipples



Series: femslash february [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:56:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackholenipples/pseuds/blackholenipples
Summary: New York gets weirder every year. First it was aliens and giant green dudes and billionaires turning themselves into flying robots. Now apparently God is real and only has one eye. Rosa Diaz has never been particularly pious but she’s pretty sure that’s not how the story goes.





	Can I help you, officer?

“Can I help you officer?”

Rosa should never have left Santiago in the car alone. Sure, she’s a brilliant detective and the kind of girl who can take care of herself. But every single time it’s Rosa’s turn to get coffee—

_ Something _ happens. Because she’s got both the worst luck in the world and a complete inability to let the weird stuff go. 

And this city has  _ a lot  _ of weird.

Case in point - three medieval cosplayers riding an eight-legged horse down the street. 

Amy’s giving the greasy one her best you’re-in-so-much-shit-buddy grin. The blond mammoth and the babe sitting behind him seem happy enough to let him do the talking. 

Rosa walks over and hands Amy her coffee.

Priorities. 

The blond guy turns to her, and he’s either taking this cosplay thing to the next level or there’s some kind of crazy story in his life because he’s got an ugly red scar where his right eye should be. 

“Greetings, mortal.” He says and, though it’s conversational, she has no trouble discerning his words over the usual noise of mid-morning traffic.  “I am Thor, son of Odin. This is Sleipnir, the steed of Gods.” 

Rosa raises an eyebrow. “You’re aware you need a permit to ride a horse in city limits, right?”

The girl snorts and jumps down. That’s easily seven or eight feet and she just made it look as easy as hopping down off of a sidewalk. Rosa’s damn athletic herself, but even she’d need to brace after that kind of impact. 

The girl flips her hair over her shoulder and gives a disarming grin. 

It’s almost pretty enough to make her want to let them go— who is she kidding, she has no desire to actually bring in harmless crazies before ten AM. 

“Loki has whatever papers you need. It’s kind of his thing, officer. We’re not really from around here, and it’s… unusual to have to explain Thor’s behavior where we come from.” 

She takes a step forward – just until she’s at the edge of Rosa’s enter-my-personal-space-and-die bubble and winks. She grabs a pen from god-knows where in the white armour and steals the coffee receipt from Rosa’s hand to scribble on the back. 

“Rosa!” Amy beckons. 

Huh, apparently greasy actually does have the paperwork they need to ride a horse through the middle of downtown. Who’dve thunk?

(Jake. Jake would have thunk – and then asked if he could ride the horse and film himself doing it. Amy really is the better partner for straight-up-crazy shit, though she can’t beat Scully’s complete lack of fucks to give.)

“Well,” Amy waves at Blondie with a smile (probably at the biceps, even Gina would be impressed by those arms), “Thor, it looks like you guys are good to go. Just make sure you dispose of any fecal matter in a responsible manner.” 

“You,” Rosa nods at the girl. “Shaw’s. Twelfth street. Nine tonight. I’ll buy you a drink if you’re there.” 

She grins back and hands Rosa back her receipt before doing an impossible leap right onto the horse’s back.

“I’ve heard good things about the liquor on this planet. I’ll be there.” She promises. 

They ride off into the smog. 

There’s a phone number on the back of Rosa’s receipt. When she plugs it into her contacts, the area code says the phone’s from Norway. 

Bull. 

“They forged those permits.” She says, walking over to the driver’s side door. 

Amy stiffens and clearly decides to let it go. 

“How do you know?”

“The blond guy. Thor. Picture him with two eyes and about a foot of hair.”

Amy groans. 

“I can’t believe we just met the Alien Avenger.”

Rosa smirks into her coffee. She’s never had sex with an alien before, but if tonight goes well, she’s more than happy to make the attempt. 


End file.
